Mike Berndt, Chief Ass
As a child, Mike's first love was swordfighting. Encouraged by a father who sought to relive the glory days of his own competitive youth vicariously through his son's savant-like fencing skills, Mike spent his childhood training to the point of hating everything else in life except the sweet taste of victory.
After winning every championship available to those from the privileged world, Mike wandered the earth seeking an even greater challenge. While hiking through a forgotten valley deep within the Himalayan mountains of Nepal, Mike fell into a small time vortex that took him to 14th century France, just as registration for a tournament was about to close. During his first match, Mike quickly learned that skills developed for competition can never compare to skills developed for survival. He also learned that, despite being the bravest person he knew in his dreams, in reality Mike was quite the coward without judges or referees around.
At the very last second, a peculiarly quirky bloke with a questionable sense of fashion and a super rad blue time machine saved Mike from certain death and dropped him back into the modern era. Mike put down his rapier and picked up a portafilter. And while he may not have the same natural talent for espresso as he did for a scimitar or a claymore, he still makes a pretty damn good cuppa jo.
Sheri Johnson, Head Sass
Sheri began life as a lost child, desperately trying to survive another day on the mean streets of New Rotterdam. A life of hardship quickly gave her a profound sense of justice, which she utilized to unite the street urchins and feral cat populations to combat the dominant stray dog contingent hoarding all the scraps of sustenance left by the more respectable portion of the citizenry. After receiving the keys to the city for her efforts in dramatically reducing the number of stray dogs in town, she was then kicked out for the excessive growth of unwanted cats and urchins.
Moving to the US, Sheri found her extreme survival skills suited her well in the mean cubicles of Wall Street. She quickly amassed a large pile of gold coins, which she kept in a large money bin where she could swim in her riches at her leisure. Then came the scandal we are not going to redress here, forcing her to give all her gold to the government. Penniless, but no less determined and resolute, she moved to Charleston, where to this day she proactively speaks up on behalf of under-appreciated service professional everywhere, and makes a pretty damn good cuppa jo.